


Tales from the Helicarrier

by Jelfia



Series: Hobbies and Helicarriers [2]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Helicarrier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1194909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jelfia/pseuds/Jelfia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tales from the Helicarrier,  stories from around SHIELD<br/>Note these stories can be  set at any time or place, the time frame will generally fall either Pre Captain America 2 or post Captain America 2 (aka before or after the fall of shield and outing of hydra) I have a few that are set during the fall or left ambiguous for story reasons, they will be unmarked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On Call, Field Agent Assisting Specialist

**Author's Note:**

> Going to take a moment to share a bit of head canon, I figure they're going to be a lot of field agents who are not expecting to run in to trouble, jobs that only need the lightest of hand on the reins. Those handlers can be assigned to several field agents at the same time. Unfortunately those agent need someone to fill out their forms when there handler is not available. Enter On Call, Field Agent Assisting Specialist, they speak multiple languages and can request more food or clothing drop when an op takes longer than forecasted. They also can route strike team and clean crews when the mission goes pear shape.
> 
> Set: pre Captain America 2

Jennifer sat her crocheting down and stretch, she felt her back pop. Leaning forward again she took a sip of her water. Readjusted her headphones slightly and debated standing and stretching some more when the phone beep indicating an incoming call and the computer voice whispers “English” before dropping a call to her. Jennifer leaned forward her hands posed over her keyboard ready to send off whatever was need to the person calling.  
“This is Jennifer, ops number, please?” Jennifer asked, waiting for the response.  
“Hi this is Peter Too Long, what was your name again sweetheart?” His voice asked heavily. Jennifer could make out the sound of water slightly sloshing, like in a bathtub. She held back a sigh; she hadn't had to worry about calls from Peter in years. Not since SHEILD headhunters found her at her low paying call center job. She reached her hand towards her phone to release the call; hesitated as an idea popped in her head. Checking that there were plenty of agents free she sent off a quick email to her on call supervisor.  
“This is Jennifer. Can I have your op number please?” She responded to Peter.  
“Jennifer that a nice name, my sister-in-law has the same name, she is the one who calls me Peter Toolong, want to know why she calls me that?” He asked the water slouching a bit more. Jennifer smiled darkly when her sup sent an email back authorizing her plan.  
“Sir that nice, but I need your op number so I can help you.” She asked not deviating too much from her initial statement, she did not want to scare off ‘Peter’ just yet. She quickly ran a phone trace, and then cross referenced it with phone location. After a few more clicks she narrowed down the result to a one Dennis Matthew Roy, divorce lawyer, never married. Jennifer only half listen as ‘Peter’ asked her question about what she was wearing; she continued to ask for his op number. She located the nearest team that could deal with this caller. She filed out form CC-1087-Fst.

 

Mission: CC-1087-fst.58354.DMR: Dissuade  
Classified: level 2  
Target: Dennis Matthew Roy  
Time Frame: ASAP-p8  
Reason: Is a menace to call center agent everywhere.  
Job: Mr. Roy got SHIELD’s call center # and is taking valuable resources and time from On Call, Field Agent Assisting Specialist who may be in need to assist field agents. Your mission is to dissuade him from ever calling any call center ever again.  
Assigned to: Team Gamma Zulu Delta Niner  
Intel: see attached Intel

 

Jennifer sent it off as Peter continued talking. She got confirmation that the mission had been received and they would be at site in ten minutes. Jennifer blinked in surprise at the speed on that, even when things are priority one they usually are not that quick on getting to the location. Jennifer flipped to the location map and found the Team GZD9 just leaving the parking lot of a fast food restaurant about seven minutes from Dennis house. Jennifer started timer and continue to string Dennis along.  
“Jennifer please I have to know, what color is your underwear.” Dennis asked the water sloshing even harder.  
Jennifer rolled her eyes and checked the remaining time before the team arrived before responding with. Nodding to herself she answered his question. “Black what color is yours?”  
There was dead air while Dennis gathered his wits and responded with “I’m not wearing any, I’m in the bathtub with my sister in law.”  
“Well that going to be awkward in about,” she glanced at the timer again, “oh…two minutes. I’d put on some pants if I were you.” Jennifer kept her voice neutral. Though a big smile was plaster on her face as Dennis spluttered. She then she heard a door bell ringing through the phone.  
“I believe, Dennis, that is for you. Thank you for calling SHIELD, have a wonderful day.”  
She heard fumbling, then a door opening and faintly she heard one of the agents on Team GZD9 say calmly, “Hello Mr. Roy, I am Agent Harper, we need to talk about mis-operation of SHIELD assets.”  
Jennifer reach out and released the call, disproportionately pleased with that call. Though she did not get long to bask in her joy as her phone shortly beeped in her ear.  
“Italian” the computer whispered.  
"Questo è Jennifer. Posso avere il tuo numero di op favore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I work in a call center, I worked the graveyard shift for 4 years. Yeah Peter Tolong is a really a "guy" I have got before... several times. The asking for panty colors was not Peter's normal question that was the question a good chunk of the other perv calls asked. I made up his real name, we never did get him to tell us his real name. 
> 
> I try to keep my mary sueness to a limited but i could not pass up adding in a call center type agent. I've got a few more SHEILD staff stories that I am typing up. Including one of strike team delta and their Primary Handler's hobbies.


	2. Romanoff's bad day.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mission went south, this is how Romanoff decompress after.  
> Set: pre Captain America 2

Most peopled assume that Natasha Romanoff did not have hobbies, did not do things, especially not girly things. If they relented and allowed that she did have hobbies or things she did of her own free time, they consisted of scaring junior agents and sparring. This is not the case Natasha has several hobbies, she enjoyed making jewelry, and she has found quilting to be very relaxing.

But tonight was a special night,  Natasha had had a ‘Very Bad Day’ and she need time and a reason to be very girly.  She changed out of her clothes into oversized  college hoodie she stole from Barton at some point, and a pair of yoga pants. She loaded up the three saddest movies she could think of, Up, The Notebook, and the Sound of Music. Natasha then pulled out the tub of lemon ice cream she kept hidden in the freezer in case of emergency. Curling up on her couch she ate the ice cream and cried (the movie are sad, that totally why she is crying). When she had finished her ice cream she got up to get more snacks. She pulled down the box of swiss cake rolls and box of chocolate chip cookies she keeps stocked for guest. She held back her tears till she sat down at the movie again.  She just finished up the Sound of Music and only one swiss cake roll was left when her phone rang. Diving for it on the arm of the coach she snaps “Romanoff here.”  her voice steady.

“It’s Coulson, he woke up and medical has cleared him you want me to bring him to your place or mine?”

Natasha closed her eyes one final tear sliding down her cheek (the movies had been really sad).  Opening her eyes she responds with, “Bring him here, I’ll fix him some botvinya. You  might as well stay as well.”  She said already cleaning up the two empty boxes of kleenex spread all over the couch and floor.

“We’ll be there in an hour.” Coulson voice conveyed many thing to Natasha, most of all concern for her and thanks for the invitations. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barton can not be trusted to take care of himself after he is injured, Coulson and Romanoff take turns taking care of injured Barton. :P
> 
> botvinya = type of russian potato soup.
> 
>  
> 
> wow this chapter is much smaller than I thought.


	3. Girl's just want to have fun.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set: pre Captain America 2

Mission Hll32-Oth-7:   infiltrate - Completed - Successful

Classified: Level 7

Target: Maria Hill room.

Time Frame: P1

Reason: girls just   ~~want~~ need to have fun!

Assigned to: Strike Team Delta

Intel Notes: self intel and recon.

After Action notes:  :p -Barton

_none - Romanoff_

  
  


Maria Hill kept her back straight as she made her way out of the command center and to her room slash office.  Being second in command afforded her not only her own bedroom and bathroom. She also had a small living room, that she turned into a second office. The three rooms were small as one would expect on a flying aircraft carrier.  But it was two rooms more than 99% of the other people on this ship, and she did not have to share it with a roommate or three.

 

As soon as the door closed behind her she relaxed, for about a half second till she noticed a box sitting on her desk that had not been there in the morning. Pulling out her gun she reached for her comm, when the paper on the box caught her eye. The wrapping paper was purple with little bows and arrows. Maria stilled her hand and walked closer to the somewhat large box. The wrapping was much neater than she expected out of Clint Barton,  not that Clint  was a messy person, he just did not have patience when it came to anything involving wrapping paper, as everyone involved with the winter '04 holiday party knows.

There was an  envelope on top, Maria’s name scrolled neatly in Romanoff’s cursive. Maria smiled, understanding the paper was provided by Batton, the wrapping would have been done by Romanoff.  Team work at it’s finest.  

Maria put her gun away and picked up the envelope. Inside was a birthday card. Bits of glitter fell on to Maria’s hands from the overly sparkly  card. Frowning she opened it up. Ignoring the preprinted birthday sentiments she home right in on the two blocks of texts. One in Barton’s fine lined print and the other in Romanoff’s dainty cursive.

 

Happy birthday Hellcat!  i got the present for you no it not a bomb,   be aware i did mod it, so be carefull where you aim it. vent codes this week are 58792257, if you need the next weeks codes let me know.- hawkeye.

 

_С Днем Рождения. I have include a list of agents involved with the valentine’s day incident. I wish you good hunting. - Black Widow_

  


Maria felt a rush of anger followed by surprise, and finally felt herself smile inside as she pulled a second piece of paper  out of the envelope, with a list of names of Shield employed who had humiliated her last February.   She had ignored it then, she was second in command she could not do anything to the agents. Other then not let them know they got to her.

Opening up the wrapping paper, neatly not tearing the strange paper, really who would think to find purple archery wrapping paper? Inside was a set of nerf guns, a belt holster and vest all bulging with nerf darts, but everything was either painted in black and greys or made with matted black material. With the shield logo stenciled on the the vest and the guns.

  
Maria felt her  smile touch her lips the first time in a long time. She could take her revenged and in a way that would not get her in too much trouble if she is caught. She knew she would have to do something nice to repay Barton and Romanoff. After she got on to them for sneaking in to her personal quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> С Днем Рождения. = Happy birthday.


	4. Coulson's secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set before Captain America 2.

Coulson has a secret, actually he has many secrets. But there is one that would surprise a lot of people. Everyone thought they knew what Coulson’s hobbies were, watching Supernanny and working. They'd be wrong. Coulson does watch Supernanny but only when at SHIELD, an easy misdirection that so many fall for. As for work, well it was work. When he is at home he has other hobbies. 

Coulson leaned over the table listing to the tv where an episode of Rehab Addict was showing. While the his eyes were on the wire he was soldering on the board. After Coulson felt it was cool enough he flipped it over and slid it home in the body of the rc car that it had come from. Coulson stood up and stretched his Captain America shirt rising up a bit showing a sliver of chiseled abs. His jeans were worn and a bit tattered at the hem. He grabbed the tv remote walked around to the front of the couch where Natasha and Clint looked up at him. Coulson raised an eyebrow and the two made room for him. He settled down between them. Natasha then spread the quilt she was working on over his legs as he place his feet with their purple with green striped socks on the coffee table. Clint shuffled his school book and laptop to a more comfortable spot.  
“We have a mission next week?” Clint asked looking over at Coulson.  
“Not that I am aware of, we have vacation for another two weeks.”  
Clint nodded and respond “Got a couple of finals I need to take.”  
Coulson nodded and glanced over to Natashas and watched her as her hand quickly and unwaveringly stitched a design on the fabric in the large hoop in her lap. The quilt was in shade of purple and blue with hints of red and black.  
“Are those hawks and hourglasses…” Coulson twisted his head slightly, ”does that say overwatch in french?”  
Natasha smiled slightly as she nodded “It says Overwatch in every language any of us speak.” Coulson smiled at the very delta squad feeling this quilt had.  
“So team, more Rehab Addict or This Old House?” there was groans from both sides as he laughed.  
Because the only thing that is filling up Coulson’s DVR was house rehab and diy house repair shows. (and a few sappy movies for Natasha.)


	5. Giagia P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set before Captain America 2.

Chryssa Papadopoulos, or Giagia P* to most of SHIELD's employees, kneading the bread humming under her breath.  Her grey hair pinned up in a neat bun, her face wrinkled with age and laugh lines. Papadopoulos glances up at the clock, it shows two thirty five am, then over at the two agent sitting at one of the tables. One agent has her nose in a book with a english to russian dictionary next to her, she doesn't even seem to notice the food she is methodically eating. The other one is less sitting at the table more sprawled on the table, light snores can be heard from his still form, his empty plate all but licked clean. SHIELD is never completely quiet, even if it is in New York and keep mostly to Eastern Daylight Time it’s always day time somewhere, and there is alway SHIELD security guards, phone agents, pilots, and medical staff on call; field agents and handlers coming in from the field, or grabbing a quick bite before they head out; the occasional R and D specialist that loses track of time.  

Papadopoulos placed the bread in the proofing ovens.  She checked the food line and after determining  everything on the line is still good she starts pulling out ingredients to make pancakes batter so it has time to reset before the breakfast crowd starts in.  She hears someone cursing lightly, in french she think, and the sound of crutches. She turn around to see Agent Barton  man handling said crutches. He glance over at the the two agents at the table then over to her, a smile lights up his face as he greets her, “Giagia P pos eíste simera?”*

“nai, nai,* is good, better then you.” her accent heavy, even after thirty years away from her home in Greece.

Barton laughed, “I escaped from medical for your wonderful cooking.” He wagged his eyebrows at her.

She laughed, “I make galatopita* for you,” she narrows her eyes, “unless on liquid diet,  I make soupa me lahano*?”

“Not on a liquid diet, but you don’t have to make anything special, I can just get whatever is on the line.”

“óchi sit, I have time, and galatopita will be eaten if  I fix it.” She pulled out the milk and eggs as Barton chuckled and settled at one of the table, pulling off a backpack and spreading the paperwork on the table.  

The female agent poked her fellow agent awake and the two of them  hustled away. Papadopoulos placed a plate filed with the creamy milk pie and a glass of water next to Barton.  She has worked for SHIELD for a long time, she made sure to make plenty of noise as she came up from beside him to placed the food down.  He nodded his thanks, and sat the pen down to concentrate on the food.

“So glad I joined SHIELD, the food is the best.” he replied  sighing in appreciation after taking a bite of food.  

“Nai, healthy, good food from scratch better for you, and good for moral.” After she was satisfied he was going  to finished eating she wandered back into the kitchen to  start preparing oatmeal, both steal cut and rolled for the morning people. Her humming  a heard over the noise of the morning  agent  shuffling in and evening agents shuffling out.      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Giagia means Grandma in Greek  
> so Giagia P would be the same as Grandma P.  
> *Giagia P pos eíste simera? = Grandma P how are you this morning?  
> *nai, nai = yes, yes  
> Galatopita = milk pie from www.greekbreakfast.gr   
> soupa me lahano = cabbage soup, it’s from The Greek Cookbook: The Crown Classic Cookbook Series (International Cookbook Series) by Sophia Skoura   
> *óchi = no
> 
> I don't speak Greek if you do let me know of any mistakes I might have made.


	6. The Text Message.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set: n/a

 

  
  


Barton eyes never moved, though the urge to roll his eyes  was strong as his current handler  drowned on. Barton let his mind wander,  worry about how well  Natasha was working with Cap.  wondering if she was wearing the new arrow necklace he left for her after the last one was lost  on a mission shortly  before he was ‘taken’ by Loki (probably best not to think about that while on a mission).  Wondering about the rumours of Coulson and Tahiti he had been hearing about(definitely should not be thinking about that right now). He was startled out of his sprawling thoughts by a phone buzzing in his cargo pocket.  giving a final sweep of the  target’s apartment, he cut off his handler tirade.

“I need to take a stretch, no change in the recon.”

After he got the ok from his current handler. Barton set his rifle down and stretched, then pulled out his current cell phone and read the text that appeared.

 

**Hey hon, so the I think the neighbors been borrowing our tools again. :( **

 

Barton raised his eyebrow, wondering  if he was getting text for someone else.

 

**sorry i know you're away on business trip right now**

Barton eyebrow dropped back down  as he was now pretty sure this was Natasha sending him the text, he racked his brain for their codes for any mention of neighbors borrowing tools.

 

**anyway i think i’m just going to toss all the tools in the yard and let everyone take what they want, it’ll keep the neighbor from stealing it from us at least!**

 

Barton eyebrow went back up what ever Natasha was trying  to tell him was probably very important.

 

**anyway, work called and i have to go in, just wanted to let you know i think we should take a vacation when we get off work. I'll bring the Bug Spray, you bring the Sunscreen ;)**

Barton knew this one, there was only one place that she would be talking about, a little lake cabin that they own that no one at SHIELD knew about (except for now deceased Coulson and maybe-probably Fury, but he knows everything.)

 

**have a safe flight home, Love Sasha, xoxo**

and now Barton stomach drop, they had agreed on several  things with their code,   
“safe flight home” was the equivalent  to get the hell out of Dodge, “love Sasha” was we are about to be made, and “xoxo” was watch your back. Barton did not hesitate, a quick text back

 

**:) see you at the Beach! xoxo C.**

 

and he immediately started to shed any piece of gear he knew or thought might have any type of tracking  built it to it. Then slithered down the fire escape, and disappearing into the crowed.  Two hours later he found himself in a back booth at cafe, with a newly ‘acquired’ laptop, cell phone and wardrobe.  He watched news video of the Helicarriers falling and the damaged to the Triskelion. Worry eating at his gut knowing without a doubt Nat was in the middle of all that.  But she had given him his marching orders, and he would follow them. Plane ticket purchased online, he dropped enough cash on the table to cover his meal and headed for the airport. Hoping there would not be any issues with his id, or his nine hour flight to Dallas. Less worry about the 4 hour drive afterwards.

 

He would need to remember to pick up sunscreen and lemon ice cream (and a cooler and ice… and other food) once he hit the biggest town before the lake. He was confident that once they both made it to the cabin they were safe, because who would look for a couple of spies at a lake in Oklahoma???


End file.
